As the years pass I become more and more comfortable with the fact that the only constant in our lives is change. Everything is always changing. Nothing ever completely stays the same. That is simply a fact of life… Like it or not.
Many, including myself, spend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to avoid a change of some sort that is often beyond our control. We fret, we worry, and at times we take unreasonable steps in an attempt to circumvent or even prevent something from happening that we don’t want to lose or miss out on. Some of those things we perceive as good, yet others have passed their prime. Like all the times we pruned and babied an old Bradford Pear tree in the backyard, knowing that it wasn’t going to make it through the next storm, and when finally crashing down, could potentially cause more damage. Why couldn’t we just take it down and know that it had lived its life and served its purpose? Why did we hold on so long?
Did old memories pull at our heartstrings? Perhaps remembering all the hours enjoying the tree’s shade and beauty throughout each season? The brilliant colors of its leaves falling in the yard every autumn, crunching under our feet as we raked… The memory of my father attaching the straps for a perfect hammock swing from a large limb that last warm May afternoon he spent in our home… Ultimately, the tree fell after a storm, thankfully causing minimal damage, but we nursed it along perhaps more than was necessary. Yet, that old tree continues to be with us as winter firewood. Is the need for such control, and avoidance or fear of change, rooted in our need to hold fast to important and meaningful memories?
The word “navigating” has resonated with me since early childhood. It goes back to a winter evening when my father was bathing my little brother in the tub, and playfully giving instructions about how to sit with his knees bent and push his toy sailboat under, around, and between each bent knee. There was something magical about the way that small two-year old boy’s eyes widened when he made the connection to dad’s careful instruction, and the incredible sparkle that filled those bright eyes, and ultimately his soul… Guess you could say it was one of those “teachable moments” when something profound happened for a child that shaped his future… The word “navigate” was one my brother used often throughout his life. As kids, when we went on “adventures” in the woods with our neighborhood pals, he would talk of “navigating” the twists and turns of a muddy trail. As an adult, he was passionate about safely “navigating” his real-life sailboat on Lake Erie.
For me, the metaphor stuck, too, perhaps because many things about my brother and memories we shared revolved around the theme of navigating through various obstacles and challenges. My brother was orientated to spatial movement when he considered navigation. Sailing, hiking, and camping were just some of his passions. All required precise skills and careful planning. On the other hand, I more often experienced “navigation” as the ebb and flow of relationships with people, which also requires precise skills, careful planning, and much care. But, my brother and I both “got” what the other treasured in life. And we both loved to dance…
Same word, different interpretation, powerful shared insight and understanding. In the end, navigation was an important concept our father taught us during play one winter evening… A concept that influenced both children personally and professionally in countless ways…
I am honored that you are interested in exploring my website and blog and hope that in some way it brings you closer to reaching your personal goals for healthier relationships in life. Your interaction and feedback are appreciated. We have much to share and teach each other in this world.
May each of you sail with skill and confidence and arrive safely at your destination…
