Navigating Change

Debi Levine, MS, LMFT

FEAR – False Expectations Appearing Real

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Just finished a really thought-provoking book called “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.  Fascinating!

The author, a Harvard-trained brain scientist, tells her story of surviving a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain. As she observed her mind deteriorate to the point that she could not walk, talk, read, write, or recall any of her life — all within four hours — Taylor alternated between the euphoria of the intuitive and kinesthetic right brain, in which she felt a sense of complete well-being and peace, and the logical, sequential left brain, which recognized she was having a stroke and enabled her to seek help before she was completely lost. It would take her eight years to fully recover.

Taylor does an amazing job of explaining the complexities of brain anatomy and function in ways that most of us can grasp, helping her reader understand the differences between how the left and right hemispheres function and how they subtly dovetail to help us complete so many incredible tasks.

One powerful insight that Taylor uncovers and shares is her belief that we have much more control than we realize to guide our left and right hemispheres to carry us along healthy and meaningful ways of thinking, feeling, and living. She says that the left brain, which performs so many vital functions, is generally our “storyteller” and has the tendency to let our thinking run along the path of our past stories and experiences, sometimes playing those over and over to the point where we miss out on the richness of the present. She offer strategies to implement to short-circuit the left hemisphere storytelling when it is not helpful, and redirect to the present focus of the right brain where we can find joy, compassion, and tremendous peace of mind.

I think the most significant assessment Taylor coined is her favorite definition of fear as “False Expectations Appearing Real.” She adds that when we allow ourselves to remember that all of our thoughts are simply fleeting physiology; we may feel less unsettled when our “storyteller” goes haywire and triggers our brain circuitry. She believes that when we silence the “storyteller” and “step to the right” we can shift to our right brain and remember that we are at one with the universe — then the concept of fear loses its power. Taylor believes we have control over which path we allow our brain to follow.

In addition to this amazing story that Jill Taylor shares, she offers some helpful recommendations for recovery from a stroke based on ten assessment questions.  And she includes a comprehensive list of forty things that she needed from caregivers as she worked to recover from the trauma of her stroke. For those who have experienced a stroke or care for someone who has suffered a stroke, this book is a must-read.

Warning Signs of Stroke

S  = SPEECH, or any problems with language

T  = TINGLING, or any numbness in the body

R  =  REMEMBER, or any problems with memory

O  = OFF BALANCE. problems with coordination

K  = KILLER HEADACHE

E  = EYES, or any problems with vision

STROKE is a medical emergency.  CALL 9-1-1.

Controlled Breathing

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There are often times in our life when we feel anxious and overwhelmed. This is normal, particularly when we have many responsibilities and obligations pulling on us. Controlled breathing can help to calm us during periods of anxiety and stress.

To make deep, controlled breathing effective, it helps to focus intently on the rhythmic pattern of your breath as it goes in and out. You’ll breathe easier — both literally and figuratively — once you get the knack of focused deep breathing. This skill is not only a marvelous stress reliever in itself, but also the first step in many other relaxation techniques.

Here are the basic steps:

1. Sit in a comfortable position.
2. Close your eyes. Place one hand on your belly, just below the navel.
3. Take a long, deep breath in. Try to make your hand rise slightly as you inhale.
4. Let the breat out slowly. Try to feel your hand fall slightly as you exhale.
5. Keep taking slow, deep, controlled, breaths for a few minutes. Focus on the steady rising and falling of your hand.

If you have trouble getting the hang of belly breathing, try lying down and placing a book (instead of your hand) on your belly. Then concentrate on making the book move up and down with your breathing. Many people find that the visual cue helps at first. Once you have mastered deep breathing, though, you will be able to do it anytime, anywhere, in any position.

This is one of my favorite exercises to do when I am struggling with something difficult and want to keep myself calm and focused on action that can make the situation better.

Tell us what breathing strategies best help you…

Counting to 10

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Meditation is the practice of focusing your mind intently on a particular thing or activity, while becoming relatively oblivious to everything else. The deep breathing activity I described in an earlier post could be considered a basic form of meditation with your own breath as a focus point. The mantra meditation used by yoga practitioners and many other mediators is another form that places the focus on a special sound or word, called a mantra. If sitting quietly isn’t your cup of tea, you can also combine mediation with a gentle, rhythmic activity, such as walking or t’ai chi. Personally, I really like walking. It is easy to do in any place, and not obvious to others.

A full-blow mediation session typically lasts at least 20 minutes. However, you can get a smaller taste of the experience by practicing a mini-meditation called “Counting to 10.” It is based on the old adage that you should count to 10 when you are upset. (My mother was a big proponent of counting to 10…) It turns out that this advice really works if you focus intently on the counting.

Here is a variation to try the next time you need to calm down quickly:
1. Take a few long, deep breaths to relax. Focus on the breath going in and out.
2. Imagine yourself in an elevator at the top of a 10-story office building. Breathe in deeply. Then silently say the number 10 as you breathe out.
3. Continue counting backward from 10 to 1 this way as you mentally ride the elevator down from the top floor to the bottom. With each passing floor, feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into relaxation.

Please share your favorite mediation strategy with us…