Navigating Change

Debi Levine, MS, LMFT

Memories of Dad

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Years ago, when I was in my 20s and had lots of time for pursing projects of interest (that would be those years before marriage and children!), I stumbled across a counted-cross stitch kit with the perfect poem that described what my dad meant to me. Like many others at that time, I had embraced the craze of needlecrafts, and this kit was not only a fun and relaxing activity, but would make a perfect gift for a special occasion. So, making the purchase, I hurried home to begin…

Here is the poem…

Many men are strong,

but very few have been able

to mix the right amount of strength

with a proportionate amount

of gentleness.

 

In doing so,

you get a man you can

admire, respect, and look up to,

but also a man you can talk to

who will understand and listen.

 

All my life

my father has given me

a feeling of security.

No matter where I go

or what happens to me,

I’ve always known he’s been

back there watching patiently

should I need him.

This security has give me

the strength to stand on my own many times.

~James B.J. Sievers

My father liked my gift and kept it hanging in his room as a reminder of how much his children loved and needed him, not just when they were small, but throughout the years.

Dad passed away in 2005. Mother left the cross stitch on the wall until very recently when she downsized to an apartment. My sister has the poem in safe keeping for me when we meet again.

For awhile I will keep the poem in my home, as a reminder of my father’s love and care. I do miss him. He has influenced me in so many ways, and I am truly grateful.

But I have in mind a new home for this craft project… It is something to be passed along from daughter to father… That plan, still in the making, comforts me and honors my father’s legacy.

Tell us about your father and the positive influence he has/had on your life.

In Honor of a Special Pet

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One of my weaknesses is collecting cats. At one point we had ten, nine of them strays who wandered to the door, nurtured by me or our daughters. They all became family.

It started as a small child when dad took me to the plant of the industrial furnace company where he worked to show me the workplace cat (on site to catch mice, I was told) who had a litter of kittens in the men’s restroom. Four adorable tiny kittens in a box with their mommy… It was love at first sight. I claimed the golden one as my pet when it was old enough to eat on its own. The wait for my first kitten seemed like an eternity to a four-year old.

Others tell me I smothered that poor little cat, trying to wrap it in blankets, cuddle it, rock it in my doll cradle, and push it in a carriage. I fought for the opportunity to have the kitten sleep in my bed at night, but lost that battle. As an adult I modified the rules regarding sharing space with pets.

One of my saddest memories is when the cat escaped out the back door one evening as an aunt who was babysitting my brother and I brought us inside after play. Sweet aunt frantically tried to capture the critter while I cried at the backdoor. Dad even looked later, and again the next day, with no luck. I had failed my first attempt at “mothering.” My cat was gone.

So, back in 1997, the very day we moved into our current home, one of the girls spied something white and furry darting among the bushes in the back yard. Investigating, she discovered a very scrawny and nearly starved kitten, obviously abandoned. It was appreciative of the food offered, and quickly responded to the affection and care of its new mommy. The rest is history…

Peanut has lived all these years with our family, mostly outdoors, but over the past several years inching his way into the house during storms, then rainy days, then cold nights, ultimately indoors with us, going out to play on lovely days. He had many fine qualities, and putting him to sleep after a sudden decline in health was not easy. I find myself thinking that if Peanut were a human being he would have been everything most of us would have wanted in a true friend…

  • Impeccable manners
  • Well groomed
  • Exemplary behavior
  • Friendly
  • Calm, relaxed, and steady companion
  • Affectionate
  • Tolerant and patient
  • Kind and caring to all humans and other cats
  • Devoted and loyal at the best and worst of times

What an honor and privilege to have shared life with this guy…  I like to think that I did a better job of caring for Peanut than I did my very first cat. Guess we learn a few things about life as the years pass.

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Perfect Moments

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A day at the beach with my daughter(s) is heaven on earth… Ideal when I can share with both, but when presented with the opportunity to share with one I am thankful. Recently experienced such a day, and we both knew it was not only a celebration of summer’s end but also of fall’s arrival. We played like summer, yet greeted the new season, putting closure to one chapter while welcoming a new beginning. It was a brilliant day filled with perfect moments as we reflected on all that the past year represented in our lives.

There is a breathtaking buoyancy to a blue-sky day at the beach in the fall. The umbrellas and beach chairs are put away; the sand castles, now one with the sand. The only sounds are the rhythmic whispering of waves and the calls of shorebirds wheeling overhead. And, if you’re listening, you’ll hear your own voice, reminding you that September is as much a fresh start as the new year, a time to make new promises and plans, a time when everything seems possible. Even when we think we’ve lost the path, as poet E. E. Cummings wrote, it’s “always ourselves we find in the sea.”

Reference:

Prevention Magazine, September 2013