When one of my nephews was sixteen he shared the following post on his Facebook page. He said he didn’t write it, didn’t know who did, but said that his peers found it meaningful. I post here (with a bit of editing!) the thoughts of an adolescent guy as he struggles with what he values and appreciates in relationships with the girls in his life.
“We guys don’t care if you talk to other guys. We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys. But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there. We don’t care if a guy calls or texts you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can’t wait till morning.
Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don’t tell us we’re wrong. We’ll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me. Don’t be mad when we hold the door open. Take advantage of the mood we’re in. Let us pay for you! Don’t ‘feel bad.’ We enjoy doing it. It’s expected. Smile and say ‘thank you.’ Kiss us when no one’s watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody’s looking, we’ll be more impressed.
You don’t have to get dressed up for us. If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she’s just in her pj’s. Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don’t take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don’t get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don’t talk about how hot Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us. It’s boring, and we don’t care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word ‘handsome’/’beautiful?’ I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with ‘Hey handsome!’ instead of ‘Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy’ or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand I’m not saying I wouldn’t like it either.
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, don’t wait for him to change!!!!! Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect. Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what they’re doing just to look you in the eyes and say ‘I love you’ and actually mean it. Give the nice guys a chance.
Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you think it’s cute… Every guy who isn’t a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this. Life is too short to complain about everything that comes your way. So, stop and smell the roses in life because you might never have another opportunity, and take your time because they are all different and special in every way. Take chances in life. If it doesn’t work out then fine, there are always more roses to smell.”
A day at the beach with my daughter(s) is heaven on earth… Ideal when I can share with both, but when presented with the opportunity to share with one I am thankful. Recently experienced such a day, and we both knew it was not only a celebration of summer’s end but also of fall’s arrival. We played like summer, yet greeted the new season, putting closure to one chapter while welcoming a new beginning. It was a brilliant day filled with perfect moments as we reflected on all that the past year represented in our lives.
There is a breathtaking buoyancy to a blue-sky day at the beach in the fall. The umbrellas and beach chairs are put away; the sand castles, now one with the sand. The only sounds are the rhythmic whispering of waves and the calls of shorebirds wheeling overhead. And, if you’re listening, you’ll hear your own voice, reminding you that September is as much a fresh start as the new year, a time to make new promises and plans, a time when everything seems possible. Even when we think we’ve lost the path, as poet E. E. Cummings wrote, it’s “always ourselves we find in the sea.”
Prevention Magazine, September 2013