Navigating Change

Debi Levine, MS, LMFT

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Graceful Dancing

July 17, 2012 by Debi

Last weekend my husband and I went ballroom dancing with friends. It was a spontaneous yet fun evening. Especially significant to me was the fact that after many years of marriage my husband, by his own suggestion, was willing to do something that I love very much. Truth be told, he would prefer to watch football or putter in the garden or dig into his newest professional project…  It meant a great deal to me, that with his busy schedule and personal preferences, he would share the evening doing something I truly enjoy. Miracles do happen!

During this evening I found myself drawn to a middle-aged couple who clearly had been ballroom dancing together for many years. There was a grace and a flow about their style that was both elegant and peaceful. Quite impressive!

The woman had no hair and wore a classy black beret. I assumed that she has or is undergoing some sort of medical treatment to explain the hair loss. Yet, she smiled and laughed, quite radiant, and clearly taking delight in spending time with her spouse on the dance floor. He, in turn, was calm and steady and savoring the opportunity to enjoy ballroom dance with his wife.

I hope that I see this couple again as I would like to get to know them better. They appeared to have a shared strength and connection, something that so many couples long for yet do not know how to achieve. I would like to hear their story…

Being married is hard work, even harder than ballroom dance, I believe. Both require love, dedication, determination, and endless hours of practice. Some days are good; others not-so-good, if not awful. Both can leave one filled with joy, delight, frustration, pain, and yet even a sense of accomplishment. There are moments of exhilaration, moments filled with confusion, times where exhaustion takes over, and times that deserve celebration.

A marriage is like a dance — many steps to take and postures to sustain, different tempos and rhythms to be mindful of, places to pause, hold, reflect, move on… Working to be in sync with each other is both a skill set to perfect and an art to master…

Graceful Dancing

Filed Under: Grief & Loss, Marriage, Relationships

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