Yesterday I visited a lovely couple, parents of a good friend. The wife recently had a stroke and was in the hospital undergoing medical care.
It was difficult to see this sweet woman compromised in her ability to function and communicate. Yet, those in the room were encouraged by increased movements on the right side of her body. Given the reality, there was a ray of hope…
The well-groomed husband of seventy plus years remained by her side. He was kind, gentle, and reassuring, with mild humor and playfulness intact. We laughed when he asked his wife to smile, and she responded with a smug expression, clearly her attempt to honor his request and maintain the joyful banter that was so typical of the communication between the two of them. Even during a troubling crisis, this amazing couple, married over seventy years, found delight in the “couple communication” that was their own unique language. It was evident that they knew each other well and loved each other dearly… Family and friends in the room were warmed by the strength of their love and the unique bond they created and nurtured.
I asked the husband to tell me the story of how the couple met… They were in college in Kentucky and noticed each other in passing. One day, as fate would have it, the man had his eyes examined at the school clinic, and when he returned to the waiting area his future bride was ready to be ushered in for her own eye appointment! They greeted each other, and the man decided to sit and wait for his lady. When she came out into the waiting room after her eye exam, he asked if he could walk her back to her dorm. She agreed, and they headed to their respective dorms “the blind leading the blind,” as their eyes were dilated! (So, we teased him that this definitely sounded like a blind date, but could hardly be love at first sight!) Anyway, he asked his lady to go to the college basketball game the following Friday evening, and that was the beginning of their long life together.
As the gentleman shared this story, his wife wore a peaceful expression. I think she could hear everything he said, and the memories seemed to comfort her…
It was a sad visit, in a way, yet one filled with admiration and inspiration. If we could all live with such grace and integrity…