Navigating Change

Debi Levine, MS, LMFT

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Family at the Pool

June 1, 2012 by Debi

This summer I have joined a pool and look forward to enjoying an early evening swim when the temperatures are cooler and the sun low in the sky. This time of day there are generally fewer people sharing the facility, so it is relatively quiet and relaxing, easy to get in a good swim. One of the best ways to savor my favorite season of the year…

Last week I noticed an amazing family — mom and dad and eight children. I had to count three times to be sure. It appeared that they were all one family unit, not children bringing along friends for the evening. My father grew up in a family of nine children, so I imagined that his sibling interactions might have been similar. But I was most impressed while observing this family because the parents were actively involved in playing with and interacting with all the children, and encouraging and supporting positive relationships among the siblings as well as coaching them in social and swim skills. You sure don’t see such hands-on parents very often. The end result of their efforts was most refreshing. I left the pool that evening feeling excited and hopeful. There are good parents in this world, and there are well-behaved and pleasant children in our community.  So often we don’t see the good behaviors around us…

Yesterday evening I met the family again, same time, same place. Mom was not there; nor were all the children, but the father had several of the crew and they were actively playing in the water. I had the chance to talk with the father, telling him how delightful it was to watch his family interact. He was proud of his family, glad that I noticed and made mention. If only other families could follow the way he and his wife raise their children… He was appreciative, and easily shared bits and pieces of how hard it is to work together to raise the children, yet easy because their commitment to a close and supportive family, which they home-school, is very important to them. Our conversation drifted to our similar child-rearing philosophies and friends in the community we had in common. Ironically, we also discovered that we are neighbors!

I do look forward to getting to know this family better. Why is it that I sense they have much to teach me — an incredible “real live” model of a healthy family making life work well.

Stay tuned for more tips and insights from my new-found neighbors and pool buddies!

Filed Under: Marriage, Parenting, Relationships

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