Auntie and I have had a strong bond since the day I was born. She has been like a second-mom/special friend all my life. Growing up, and even today, she is a woman who is steadfast and deeply connected to her family, always welcoming me in that circle. I am so fortunate to be part of her life… Mine is the better for her warm and genuine love and support.
Life with Auntie is comical and fun, filled with fond memories. Perhaps the earliest is the time she saved my baby brother’s life after her boyfriend (later her husband) fed the babe a slice of apple, causing him to choke. She knew enough to turn the baby upside-down and give him some good smacks on his back to free the apple skin! I can still remember the fear on her face in those moments, and her quick thinking and action to help my brother. (Auntie wasn’t very happy with my uncle during that clean-up process. I doubt they gave apple slices to their own children until at least age fifteen!)
There were countless outings to playgrounds and amusement parks when I was young, complete with ice cream treats — Tastee-Freeze, to be exact. And, Auntie took me to my very first “girls” outing one lovely fall afternoon. We dressed nicely, took the streetcar into downtown Pittsburgh, ate lunch at a fancy department store restaurant, and went to see my first-ever movie, a West Side Story matinee. I might have been all of four or five. It amazes me how I still remember most every detail of that special day with Auntie… The movie itself has always been one of my favorites, and I am convinced fueled my life-long love of music and dance. Thank you, Auntie…
Middle-school and high school-years pulled me closer to Auntie in that I discovered she was someone I could talk to about anything on my mind. She was always nonjudgmental, yet realistic. If I complained about my mother (her big sister) she just listened, didn’t take sides, and helped me see ways to make the mother-daughter relationship better. Wise woman… She held me close, listened to my woes, and set the stage for allowing me to make reasonable mistakes that helped me to grow, all the while with an eye on keeping me safe. (Knowing what I know now about Auntie and Bubba I suspect they shared much about the details in order to help each other best relate to a raging adolescent! I was their first.)
In high-school, one of my big issues with my mother (on a tight budget raising four children) was her unwillingness to let any of us own name-brand clothing — a big deal to a kid that age. I was on a kick to have one of the very popular wool plaid jumper/kilts that were fashionable in the late-60s. (The kind you wore with a cute sweater, knee socks, and saddle shoes or loafers!) Well, Auntie got me one for Christmas that freshman year! I wore it often and always felt special and loved when I did. All these years later, that brown/black/gold plaid jumper is still in my cedar chest… My own daughters would not wear it (not in style!), and I doubt my granddaughters will show any interest, and even though it certainly no longer fits me, I will keep that jumper forever and probably take it to my grave. It meant that much to me. Silly, but not…
When I was about to get married, Auntie gave me a little porcelain plate that I always display in our home to remind me of its important message and her love. “Love is … better when it’s given away.”
Last summer Auntie joined us for a family vacation at the beach. It was the first time I had ever been able to have her in my home, which was an honor and delight. (We have lived on opposites ends of the country most of our shared years.) As she left after that visit she gave me a little gold-plated bookmark with a cloisonné butterfly on it. She knew I loved to read, but did she know I also loved butterflies? We did chase them together when both of us were younger… I keep the bookmark in whatever I am reading bedside. It is very pretty, but it makes me happy for a lifetime relationship that I am blessed to have.
And just the other day after a playful phone conversation, Auntie, asked me if I was still dancing. (Yes, of course!) She reminded me to always dance…
Funny how some of the little everyday kindnesses offered from one human being to another can have such a lasting and profound impression on life…
I wrote this blog post back in the summer of 2013. Since that time Auntie was diagnosed with cancer, and after a hard fight, passed away in October of 2014. Thinking of Auntie today and missing her… Going soon to visit my uncle and cousins… Bittersweet season.