There s a flower essence called Rescue Remedy that is used in alternative medicine. The belief of some practitioners is that when you have an emotional or health crisis you can use this scent to calm down or heal.
Bill O’Hanlon, author of the book “Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life,” thought it would be good to have a similar rescue remedy for relationship crises and impasses.
Here are his nine methods for resolving relationship crises:
1. Change your usual conflict pattern or style
2. Do a 180: change your usual pursuer-distancer pattern
3. Catch your partner doing something right
4. Unpack vague, blaming, and loaded words; instead, use action talk
5. Change your complaints into “action requests”
6. Make a specific plan for change
7. Focus on how you (not your partner) can change, and take responsibility for making that change
8. Blow your partner’s stereotype of you
9. Practice compassionate listening
O’Hanlon, Bill. (1999). Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life. Quill.