Characteristics:
• dogmatic
• very controlling
• obedience highly valued
• self-control and autonomy limited
• little recourse to reasoning
• children have no say over personal decisions
• often based on religious or political beliefs
Parent’s Behavior:
• Parent believes that obedience is being good and obedience without question is very good
• Parent insists that child obey and conform to the wishes of the parent without questions, complaints, or defiance
• No real relationship exists with the child
Message Sent to the Child:
• I am in power. I will impose my will on you to do what I want you to do. I am superior. I may use force or intimidation to get you to do what I want.
Possible Reaction in Child:
• Child becomes defensive, fearful, hostile, or helpless; may show signs of guilt and anxiety
• Child may begin to fight, be defiant, rebel, or conspire against parent and others
• Child does not learn to rely on self
• Child lacks self-discipline
Examples:
• “You’re going to darn well study for 40 minutes right now. They you say your prayers and go right to bed. Or else!”
• “Get to bed now!”
• “Do it this minute!”
• “No more for you. You don’t take care of what you have.”
• “Do it, or ELSE!”
• “Get a move on!”
• “I don’t care what you want. You’ll do what I say.”
• “I don’t want to hear any excuses.”
• “Sit down and you listen to me.”
The authoritarian style of parenting is high on limits and low on love. Not meaning that the parents do not love their children, but that their strengths are in action discipline. This style of parenting is obedience-oriented, and parents expect their orders to be carried out without any explanations. Children raised in this type of environment do not generally have a close relationship with their parents and feel as if they cannot turn to their parents for support. They tend to perform moderately well in school and not be involved in problem behavior. Boys parented by this style tend to have higher rates of anger and defiance. Girls tend to be more dependent, lack the enthusiasm for exploration, and retreat from challenges. Both boys and girls seem to have poorer social skills and lower self-esteem, which leads to higher levels of depression.