There is much mention in our society these days about finding one’s “soul mate.” There are differing opinions of what a soul mate actually is to us.
One popular perspective, such as the one proposed by John Gray, Ph.D. states that a soul mate is “…someone who has the unique ability to bring out the best in us.” Of course, soul mates are not perfect, but they hopefully are a pretty good fit for us. And while a compatible soul mate can bring out the best in us a lot of the time, without good communication skills a soul mate can also bring out the worst in us, and vice versa.
John Gray also believes that we are not just physically drawn to our “soul mate” but that our souls are drawn to each other as well.
There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. According to Gray, a soul mate includes all four kinds of chemistry.
But there is another perspective that I have noted which says that a “soul mate” is someone who holds up a mirror to you so that you can see your real self whether you like it or not. This person is able to help you see your flaws. Sometimes they are skilled enough to do this while also offering support and encouragement so that you can grow and become a better person. This sort of soul mate isn’t going to let you get away with your shortcomings, but forces you to face your dark side. However, sometimes this sort of soul mate connects with you for a short period of time simply to make you face your demons. Their only task is to force you to open your eyes and take careful inventory of who you are, where you are, and what you make of your life.
What does the term “soul mate” mean to you?
Gray, John. (1997). Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship. Harper-Collins Publishers.