Parents encounter many challenges during the time their children experience the physical and psychological changes that launch them into adulthood.
Changes occur in
- physical form
- ways of thinking
- time spent away from parents
- school settings
- the importance of peers
All changes demand adaptation from both parents and teenagers. Never easy.
Parents must support early adolescents as they search for their own identity.
Some common questions and challenges are:
How do parents maintain close relationships while teenagers are becoming more independent?
How do parents of different ethnic groups help their teenagers deal with the specific problems youth confront while establishing their identity?
How do parents grant autonomy while continuing to monitor their children’s behavior?
How do teenagers balance parents’ demands with pressure from peers?
Parents have to find ways to
- encourage independence and self-esteem
- help children become more competent
- continue to monitor the teenagers’ behavior and not permit so much freedom that children get in trouble they cannot handle
It can help to be honest with your teen regarding your own need to be a better parent. Ask for their help in offering feedback that can help guide the changing relationship landscape between you and your blossoming child. You don’t want your teen to tell you what to do, but you do want them to understand and practice healthy and cooperative adult communication. This instruction and “lesson” is part of what we as parents must work through to help our children develop and mature. Some days are pretty tough, but try to keep in mind that they don’t just “know” how to be an adult — it takes a lot of trial, error, and practice. Don’t expect smooth sailing. Anticipate rough waters and occasional storms.
Genuine and supportive feedback and caring from a loving family is critical to a successful outcome.