Navigating Change

Debi Levine, MS, LMFT

Controlled Breathing

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There are often times in our life when we feel anxious and overwhelmed. This is normal, particularly when we have many responsibilities and obligations pulling on us. Controlled breathing can help to calm us during periods of anxiety and stress.

To make deep, controlled breathing effective, it helps to focus intently on the rhythmic pattern of your breath as it goes in and out. You’ll breathe easier — both literally and figuratively — once you get the knack of focused deep breathing. This skill is not only a marvelous stress reliever in itself, but also the first step in many other relaxation techniques.

Here are the basic steps:

1. Sit in a comfortable position.
2. Close your eyes. Place one hand on your belly, just below the navel.
3. Take a long, deep breath in. Try to make your hand rise slightly as you inhale.
4. Let the breat out slowly. Try to feel your hand fall slightly as you exhale.
5. Keep taking slow, deep, controlled, breaths for a few minutes. Focus on the steady rising and falling of your hand.

If you have trouble getting the hang of belly breathing, try lying down and placing a book (instead of your hand) on your belly. Then concentrate on making the book move up and down with your breathing. Many people find that the visual cue helps at first. Once you have mastered deep breathing, though, you will be able to do it anytime, anywhere, in any position.

This is one of my favorite exercises to do when I am struggling with something difficult and want to keep myself calm and focused on action that can make the situation better.

Tell us what breathing strategies best help you…

Healthy Ways to Handle Stress

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                                                   Short – Term Methods

  • Relax where you are. Sit in a comfortable position; rest your hands on top of your navel. Breathe deeply through your nose, feeling your hands rise as your abdomen fills with air. Still inhaling, count to three and feel your chest expand. Hold your breath momentarily, and then release it. Repeat four times, but stop if you become light-headed.
  • Take a break. Get some exercise or fresh air (simply a quick, brisk walk outdoors if possible), or go somewhere private and yell or cry.
  • Ask yourself whether it’s worth being upset over the situation. You can choose to stay calm and ignore it. If the issue is important, confront it directly, talk it out with a sympathetic friend, or write it out in a letter you don’t send.
  • List all the things you think you need to do right away. Then prioritize the list and only do the top few. The rest can be first priority tomorrow.

                                                  Long – Term Methods

  • Seek your own stress level. Strive for excellence within your limits.
  • Choose your own goals. Don’t live out choices others have made for you.
  • Become part of a support system. Look out for yourself by letting friends help you when you are under too much stress and by helping them when they are overloaded.
  • Think positively. Your mind sends signals to your body to prepare for danger whenever you think about possible negative outcomes, and you become tense regardless of whether the event happens.
  • Exercise a sense of humor. Be able to laugh at yourself and laugh often. It renews one’s spirit.
  • Make decisions. You can learn to live with the consequences or change your mind. In general, any decision – even consciously deciding to do nothing – is better than none.
  • Keep your expectations realistic. Don’t expect perfection from yourself or others. Expect some problems reaching your goals and realize that you can solve most of them with practice.
  • Accept what you cannot change. If a problem is beyond your control, you’re better off accepting it rather than spinning your wheels.
  • Anticipate potentially stressful situations and prepare for them. Decide whether the situation is one you should deal with, postpone, or avoid. If you decide to deal with the situation, practice what you will  say and do.
  • Live in the present. Learn from the past and move on.
  • Manage your time. Prioritizing and planning can keep demands of life from becoming overwhelming.
  • Enjoy diversions. Participate in a hobby you enjoy as a diversion and  a source of renewal… reading, music, exercising, painting, hiking, volunteer activities… whatever suits you.
  • Take care of your health. Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and limit caffeine and alcohol.
  • Take time for yourself. Make yourself your priority. Find time to relax – even if only for a few minutes – every day.
  • Employ natural methods. Use relaxation exercises, massage, hot baths/showers, aromas, and/or animal therapy.
  • Exercise your spirituality-faith. Take time to pray, meditate, reflect, worship, or create a quiet space for yourself.
  • Practice the ABC’s of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). It is not necessarily the event that stresses us. It is what we think of/about the event. Try reframing (changing the way you think) about the event… looking for a positive aspect… and if done… expect a different consequence/new emotion compared to your first response.
  • Put your personal stress plan into action. You know what works for you… JUST DO IT! (Let someone you trust know about your plan and ask them to help you follow through with it. You will do the same for them.)

stressed cat

Suggested Internet sites:
http://stress.about.com/

http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/reducing-stress-tips

Reference:

Prepared by Carroll College Counseling Center

The Invitation

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Ahhh, it is the beginning of a month already filled with too many societal, health-related and personal issues affecting those I love. Some of it unexpected, some of it chronic, but all of it too much at once, leaving the family system rather depleted. Time to “circle the wagons” so we can all rest and recharge. Some seasons just work that way… I am ready for spring to stay!

So, I find myself pulling from the bookshelf an old favorite that helps remind me to remain clear and focused and hopeful when troublesome events wear us down.

“The Invitation” (1999) by Oriah Mountain Dreamer is “a declaration of intent, a map into the longing of the soul, the desire to live passionately, face-to-face with ourselves and skin-to-skin with the world around us.”

Shared by word of mouth, e-mailed from reader to reader, recited over the radio, and read aloud at thousands of retreats and conferences, “The Invitation” has changed the lives of people everywhere. In this bestselling book, Oriah expand on the wisdom found within her beloved prose poem, which presents a powerful challenge to all who long to live an authentic life.

In a world that is both uncertain and chaotic, “The Invitation” opens the door to a new way of life — a way of intimacy, honesty, and peace with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Oriah invites us to embrace the varieties of human experience, from desire and commitment, to sorrow and betrayal, and to open ourselves to all that is possible. “The Invitation” is an invaluable guide to overcoming the obstacles that stand in our way and to discovering the true beauty that life has to offer.

Accept the invitation and open yourself to a more meaningful life. There is no better time than the present to take a fresh look at life and appreciate what is good…  Coming though a rough stretch in terms of responsibilities and concerns provides a perfect opprotunity to refresh yourself and the way you experience your life.

Here is a link to Oriah’s website, her poem, and blog. Hope all is well with you and yours…

http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/